


The Completely Normal Dentists

by sweggyniffler



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hogwarts, dentist office, meme prompt, new dentist, on the train to hogwarts, this is AWKWARD -Harry / Hermione
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-04 22:38:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16355588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweggyniffler/pseuds/sweggyniffler
Summary: Harry heard the Dursleys talking on the phone to someone. Finally they hung up. They had just gotten brand new totally normal dentists, Mr and Mrs Granger.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so before you say anything yes this is an AU based off of that Tumblr meme that the Dursleys got the Grangers as their new dentists yes yes whatever.

It was a super normal day at Number 4, Privet Drive. Harry, as usual, was bored out of his mind. A mere 5 minutes ago, Dudley had been chasing him around the house brandishing a feather duster for some reason. Harry vacated in his cupboard under the stairs and waited.

Harry heard the Dursleys talking on the phone to someone. Finally they hung up. They had just gotten brand new totally normal dentists, Mr and Mrs Granger. They seemed very satisfied with their choice.

"The dentists will be completely normal individuals," said Uncle Vernon. "No mysterious riff raff."  
Aunt Petunia told Dudley that he would have to go to a dentist appointment. Dudley was now fighting with her, throwing things and brandishing a feather duster at her, trying to make her sneeze and let go of him so he could run away. But he wasn't having any luck.

"Get--in--the--damn--CAR!" Uncle Vernon roared. He shoved Dudley into the car and turned the car on.

"Might as well take that boy with us," said Uncle Vernon, glaring at Harry. Harry, taking the hint, got into the car cautiously and closed the door. Dudley was screaming "I DON'T WANT TO GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

"But you have to go!" said Aunt Petunia. "We already booked an appointment!"

"I DON'T CARE!" screamed Dudley.

"It don't hurt!" said Aunt Petunia, now starting to panic.

Dudley kept screaming, Uncle Vernon was swearing at the top of his voice, Aunt Petunia was yelling at Dudley frantically, and Harry was sitting in the midst of it all, covering his ears and thinking, "This is a catastrophe so far."

When they finally arrived, the door next to Harry banged open and the seatbelt flew off of its own accord, but the Dursleys didn't notice. They were struggling to unbuckle Dudley's seatbelt and get him out. Harry jumped out the door and slammed it shut, which would have earned him a punishment if the Dursleys hadn't been wrestling with Dudley.

When they finally managed to get Dudley out of the car, they ran toward the door, Harry swinging it open, and they collapsed in the waiting room.

The manager, probably Mr Granger, looked up. He took in the sight in front of him and sighed.

"Hello," he said calmly. "Are you here for an appointment?"

Harry looked up at him. "Yeah," he said. "Well, they are." he pointed at the Dursleys. "I don't think I am."

"Ok, you can sign in for them," said the man. "Are you family?"

"Yes," said Harry. "They're my aunt and uncle and that is my cousin," Harry said, pointing.

"Ok," the man said again. "Sign in for them, will you?"

"Ok," said Harry. He signed the Dursleys in and waited while they tried and failed to calm Dudley down. 

Soon, another person came in and said, "Dudley Dursley?"

Dudley, upon hearing his name, looked up. He was distracted, so Uncle Vernon managed to pin the screaming boy down onto the chair. 

Harry sent an apologetic look towards the person in the doorway, who was gaping at the sight. 

"I'll.. come back later?" the woman said. She backed away slowly. 

Harry sighed. He strolled over to Dudley and shook him really hard. "C'mon, Dudley!" he moaned. "Just get it over with!" 

Dudley screamed again and slapped Harry so hard that he went flying through the door into the other room. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi I have no idea what I'm doing

"Are you okay?" asked an anxious voice in front of him.

Harry's eyes fluttered open. There was a girl standing in front of him. She looked around his age, with lots of bushy brown hair and large front teeth.

"Uh, yeah," Harry said. "Fine."

"You sure?" the girl asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay then." The girl went back to reading her book, which was what she had been doing earlier.

"So uh... what's your name?" Harry asked, trying to strike a conversation with the girl since he was bored.

"Hermione Granger." the girl replied absentmindedly, flipping a page of her book. "My parents work here. I'm bored. So I'm reading. To pass the time. It's just what I like to do in my free time. What do you like to do in your free time?" 

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I don't have a lot of things to do."

Hermione gestured to the Dursleys in the other room, who were struggling to get Dudley into the seat. "Is that your family?" she asked.

"My aunt and uncle and my cousin," Harry replied. "My parents died in a car crash or something."

"Oh," Hermione said. Then her eyes widened. "Holy cricket," she breathed. " _You're_ Harry Potter!"

"I know I am," Harry replied.

"Your parents didn't die in a car crash," Hermione said. "You-Know-Who killed them."

"What? They didn't? Yes they did. How do you know?" Harry was confused.

"Harry.." Hermione shook her head. "You're probably the most famous person in the world."

"I am??"

"Yes. You banished You-Know-Who. Oh," she realized. "You don't know... they didn't tell you.."

"What are you talking about??" Harry thought Hermione was crazy.

"I should explain," Hermione said. "You see..."

And she began to explain. Harry's parents, how they were killed by this You-Know-Who guy for some reason, how Harry survived and stopped Voldemort from rising to power, etc. 

When Hermione finished, Harry was in awe. "I.. I did this?"

"Yes," Hermione said. "All of it."

Harry gaped at her. "Wow."

"Yeah," Hermione said.

"Tell me about this 'Hogwarts' place again."

"It's a school for witches and wizards like us," Hermione said. "Have you gotten your letter yet?"

"Don't think so." Harry was worried. "Do you think I'll get accepted?"

"Harry, you have magical parents and you obviously have some amazing magical power if you were able to stop You-Know-Who from killing you, and that's an amazing feat really because no one's done it before, so  _obvious_ you'll get in. Your name's probably been down since you were born."

"Oh," Harry was relieved. Hermione told him about the research she had done on Hogwarts, and he thought is would be amazing if he would get to go there. "Good, because I really wanted to go." 

"Well, who doesn't?" Hermione said. "Once you know about it, you just have to love it or you have something wrong with you."

"I already know for a fact that there is something wrong with some  _certain people_ ," Harry said, glaring at the Dursleys. 

Hermione saw where he was looking and said, "They obviously have something wrong with them. Especially if they knew about you and your parents and didn't even tell you," Hermione added.

"My mum was Aunt Petunia's sister," Harry said. "They never talked about her, so I assume that they hate magic and hate her or something."

"They are out of their minds," Hermione shook her head in disbelief. "How could you hate magic?"

"They're all Muggles," Harry added. "Maybe Aunt Petunia was jealous of my mum?"

"Could be," Hermione said. "Or they just have mental problems."

"I'd think I'd go with the second option," Harry said, smiling.

"Oi, you!" Uncle Vernon's voice came from the other room. "We're leaving, get over here!"

"Alright," Harry muttered. Then to Hermione he said, "Well... see you on the train, I guess."

"I sure hope so," Hermione replied. "See you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still have no idea what I've just done

**Author's Note:**

> haha


End file.
